Like Saints and Martyrs

The nuns always told me when I was sick or in pain That I had to suffer The pain for God,  Like the saints and martyrs had. I thought, if they could suffer so much pain, then I could too. This was one reason why I did not complain, and, when I did,  I was slapped across my face and I was told not to tell lies. This led me to withhold any information about pain, until finally I forgot the cause of it.I had always thought that when I had the childhood accidents and after I had been sent back to the orphanages after months of treatment, I should have been suffering no more pain,

So the pain I suffered over all these years, i.e. headaches, migraines, earaches, back pain and nose pain I never connected them with my childhood injuries, as I thought I had been healed. I just thought the pain were the normal run of things.  That everybody suffered from them in the normal course of life. It wasn't until recently that I found this was not so. I did not mind one little bit, offering my pain up to God because I loved God so much. 

What have you nuns and priest done to me? that I should feel so low about myself.  What have you done to all the little innocent children (boys and  girls)?

around the world in your Catholic Church hell hole orphanages.

We. the little innocent children (Boys and Girls) who were sexually abused and abused of all kinds in your very cold, loveless orphanages are the MARTYRS and SAINTS of  today, because we suffered every day with our sweat and our blood as you whipped us and as you tortured us without mercy.  

We shared our blood in the name of God.