The thrashings of the nuns belts came rushing though my head and my god! how they would keep on gaining more and more strength as they whipped me, never once did they stop for a breath. The pounding of their belts across me back which bled and left their marks did not bother them at all, It was barbaric; it was dreadful. And they call themselves holy nuns. I have a lot of names for these nuns and they are not holy ones at that.
The power the nuns had was to terrorize me in a room as well as the other little kids. How easy to shake, beat, humiliate me of their dark power, secrets, repression, cruelty, lies, and misery .
Nuns can and do physically/sexually/emotionally abuse children too and they deserve to be put in the spotlight. I had a sweetness of a little girl without a smile and I was purely innocent. I began to cry and asked why. They slapped me hard across my face and told me not to pretend I didn't know what I had done I was physically/emotionally abuse
I was dragged by my ear to the front of the class. I was crying because I was scared because I tried to be a good little girl and didn't know what I had done wrong then to be made to set on a stool to be laugh at by the other girls by Sister Blandina.
I was put in a room that wasn't used and told to wait there. I remember looking outside and seeing all the girls laughing and playing and couldn't understand what I did wrong. I , was horribly mistreated by nuns. It is so horribly true that I have been damaged beyond understanding by those I looked up to and trusted. That I lost my trust in them and in the church, even in god is something that I also suffered.
The mental illness and the damage that it causes me each day is beyond repair as the Nazareth House nuns had damaged me so much, even to this day.
This is about acknowledgement and healing. of sexual, psychological and physical abuse to me in Nazareth House.
"What you did to me, physically and psychologically, disturb me, my family and every person I have any type of relationship with for the rest of my life. Your inability to plead 'guilty' demonstrates to me you can't admit what you did, and that makes my ability to move on with my life, as well as forgive you, extraordinarily difficult.
How I know my mother came to see me at Nazareth House is that when I found my family in 1997 my brother John sent me a photo of his mother and her sister I got so up set because they were the two women who came to see me and I did not know she was my mother. She was right there with me and I did not know. She came to see me when I turned 15years old and brought me a cake which was taken off me cut up and I had to give every one a piece and I never did get to taste it.
As I always say it is the baby who is the one that gets the worst end of it all and the baby has no rights at all. I know because I went though this with the nuns and that is why when they thrashed me, they would say each time that I had my mothers sins in me and I never knew until 2002 when my sister told me about my mother, did I get to know fully why they said that tome.
How mean of them to say that to me, I was just a child and each time they said that about my mother I would say to myself. Mum how can they punish me for you. what have you done for them to treat me this why? I love you Mum. I am hurting so much.
I call out because of the pain I am in, it is too great and unless you yourself were treated the same why as me, please do not judge us all with your words. I suffered abuse of all kinds as well as sexual abuse from the age of 18months at the hands of nuns, women, older girls and a priest up to the age of 24years old. Some are so bad that I can not put in writing nor tell any one about them.
What gives you the right to be more holy than righteousness as to tell me how bad I am. To be still told now in my gentle years by you, how I have sinned because of telling of the abuse which was done to me, hurts me even worse than being abuse.
How dare you judge me and others who had being abuse though out our childhood. Unless you too have had the same life as me, do not judge me, have you not seen on this site what I have put here. I know that god is my judge and I leave it in his hands to deal with these people who abused me, but I need to have these people to hear me. So what is an hour out of their lives to hear me.
This is so like the catholic church, they do not know how to tell the truth, they will turn the innocent people, into the abusers, so as to make the survivor feel guilt, in coming forward. The world should know by now, that the TRUTH, is what this is all about. God knows the truth and these priest are the servants of the devil, they need to clean their own house out, before they re-abuse us survivors, we stand by the truth and we will not go away.
Sexual abuse of children, teenagers, men and women, is the worst sin, that these priest and nuns, had enforce upon us, is pure evil. They RAPED our Souls and for that, they hated them with our lives and they betraded that trust. They lead us into the fires of hell.
There are two things in which, the catholic church do so well with, that is money and power. They have no God, their god is money and power. Without their power, they are nothing and they know it. We the people give them that power, by bowing down to their every whim and we must stop it.
They are not god, as they think they are. They are not above the law. They are people, just like you and me. They even have forgotten, why they have become priest. to love God and to be Jesus like, they are neither.
They used God's name when they abused us as they pleased. That is not loving God. Yes they did use Jesus as well, in such a bad way as well and more so than God. As we were children, they used Jesus to us, in the baby and child form, to abuse us with. The child Christ, to be used in this way, is the way of the devil, we did not see that at that time, because it hurt us more, to see the child Jesus suffering, because we were the devil's children, we could not get away from this. beacuse we were told this every day and night.