This bought so many memories back to me... what I use to think about Christmas... as an innocent girl growing up... in the catholic church orphanages... I looked on at Christmas time... with peace and faith in my heart... the abuse and rape... were left outside the church... as I was alone.... with the child Jesus... whom I called my little brother... the smell of the Christmas lilies... in the church would blind my senses... and everything else was blocked out...
I never knew that... that peace would ever leave me... but at 15years old... when a priest RAPED my body... he did the worse thing... which any one had every done to me... he RAPED my Soul... you see... I always thought that the priest... was acting for God on earth... and they were treated as though they were God... by us children... everything left me that day... because I was RAPED... by the catholic church... Raped by the priest... and RAPED by god... it tore at me... that a servant of God... one of Jesus bride... could take me soul... which I did believe... belonged to God... and that no one could take away from Him... it is this... which they have to answer to God for... OUR LOST SOULS...
Rape of an innocent child of God... leaves you in this dark hole... and everything around you... will never be the same again... you can not go to church... because to see a priest or a nun.... brings you to tears... and your innocents is gone for ever... you are worthless... and your soul is blacken... because of the sins... which the priest... has bestowed on your soul... after that day... going to church became a habit... which all us children went through... from day to day... you could feel that something was missing... but never knew what it was... it was your faith...
The church would never again... be my safe place... I had no one... or nowhere to go to... to feel safe ever again... my life from then on... was always about finding some where... or some one... to be safe with... I was a lost soul... a lost child... from a little baby... every one around me... treated me with hate and abuse... of all kinds... a child who felt it was best to stay by myself... not knowing... that it was the worst thing I could of done... as it led me to be abuse by the very people... who should of being looking after me... the nuns and priest... they were our family... the only family we ever knew... we knew nothing else... we were the orphans of the catholic church... who promised us heaven... but the led us to hell...
I never knew that... that peace would ever leave me... but at 15years old... when a priest RAPED my body... he did the worse thing... which any one had every done to me... he RAPED my Soul... you see... I always thought that the priest... was acting for God on earth... and they were treated as though they were God... by us children... everything left me that day... because I was RAPED... by the catholic church... Raped by the priest... and RAPED by god... it tore at me... that a servant of God... one of Jesus bride... could take me soul... which I did believe... belonged to God... and that no one could take away from Him... it is this... which they have to answer to God for... OUR LOST SOULS...
Rape of an innocent child of God... leaves you in this dark hole... and everything around you... will never be the same again... you can not go to church... because to see a priest or a nun.... brings you to tears... and your innocents is gone for ever... you are worthless... and your soul is blacken... because of the sins... which the priest... has bestowed on your soul... after that day... going to church became a habit... which all us children went through... from day to day... you could feel that something was missing... but never knew what it was... it was your faith...
The church would never again... be my safe place... I had no one... or nowhere to go to... to feel safe ever again... my life from then on... was always about finding some where... or some one... to be safe with... I was a lost soul... a lost child... from a little baby... every one around me... treated me with hate and abuse... of all kinds... a child who felt it was best to stay by myself... not knowing... that it was the worst thing I could of done... as it led me to be abuse by the very people... who should of being looking after me... the nuns and priest... they were our family... the only family we ever knew... we knew nothing else... we were the orphans of the catholic church... who promised us heaven... but the led us to hell...